LittleMissIndependence's Xanga

sinking

Sun, 04 Nov 2007 02:40:03 GMT

he says it's just now sinking in for him
and I think, "me too"
everyone told us that senior year would be it
"enjoy it while it lasts" they said
and we just laughed
not us, not the crew, not the family
never
well, senior year wasn't the end all for us
God blessed us with four more years
years of roadtrips, camp, multiple apartments
people went off to college and moved home from college
people broke up, got together, and got married
one of us became one of the few, the proud
those four years were full of tough times too
times where no words could take the hurt away
but at the end of the day, we were together through it all
and then came August 2007
as much as we'd all like to say we've done this before
we haven't done this before
when I come home in 18 days
there will be parts of my "family" who will be noticeably missing
and I think that's just starting to sink in

One Crappy Day

Thu, 25 Oct 2007 21:48:48 GMT

Do you ever just have really crappy days?
Days when you just don't wanna get out of bed, because you just have a feeling it's only getting worse
Days you just wanna wake up in 84 #12, eat cereal with the best roommate ever,
and watch reruns of the Disney Channel?
That was my yesterday
I don't even know why, but it was just crappy.
I'd fly through any tornado if it meant I could be home again.
Home with my beautiful trees, my great family, and my amazing friends
Home where when breakfast is mentioned, we all know it's gonna be at Ihop.
Home where my brothers act all crazy 'cuz it's late, and my mom and I just laugh
Home where my dad calls me Melanie Pelanie and we talk about football
Home where with a few phone calls, there's a basement full of people to hang out with
Home where I'm so distracted because of the blue, that I forget hugs
There's no lines for showers and I don't have to wear shoes.
But Rach isn't there. Steve isn't there. TJ's not there, and Lisa's not there either.
I barely got to see him, and I didn't have time to go through the GP Press.
So yeah, yesterday was pretty crappy.
It got better once my phone rang, but the "goodness" didn't last very long.
The fire alarms went off around midnight. False alarm.
A crappy ending to a crappy day.
So today I just wanted to wake up somewhere else. Home would be good.
So would my apartment on the lake with the stupid geese.
Do you ever just have really crappy days?
I sure do.

One point five

Mon, 15 Oct 2007 02:19:09 GMT

"So," he says, "basically you have a year and a half left in the United States."
Suddenly, my mind starts swirling.
1.5 years. That's less than Bible school.
That's less than I worked at Target.
That's not long enough.
What if I'm not ready in only 18 months!?!?
My littlest brother won't even have graduated high school yet.
I calm my thoughts by telling him, that no, I have longer.
I mean, you have to factor partnership development in there.
But really, my mind is not matching my words.
1.5 years is not long.
But I guess it's possible.
And it's that possibility that scares me more than anything.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Mon, 10 Sep 2007 02:41:17 GMT

I knew a guy who wrote a song about not having many "days worth keeping." That got me thinking, and I started to make a mental list...jotting things down as they happened. This summer was a crazy one, but an amazing one. This summer I hung out with old friends, made amazing new ones, and said goodbye to both. This summer had many days worth keeping.

May 25 - Rachel's Bachelorette Party. Just goes to show, you don't need tons of friends to have fun!
May 31 to June 2 - Rachel and Steve's wedding. The whole weekend was cray, but amazing at the same time. Not only did my roommate finally see the product of all her hard work, but all my friends got to be together again. Swing dancing at the rehearsal, midnight ziplining, going to bed and waking up in the same room as my Rachel Sue one last time, prancing around camp trying to find the groom while eating an apple Rachel's future mother in law bought me, driving the "get away car," late night bonfire after driving all over Silver Lake...all worth keeping.
June 3 - Chelsey came to Grand Rapids for the first time! Frederick Meijer gardens were amazing, but not as amazing as spending the whole day with her.
June 14 to 28 - Thailand. I really should just stop there, because there's no way I can begin to describe these 2 weeks. Remembering what I'm doing with my life, getting to worship with my brothers and sisters who live half way around the world, tuk-tuks, the night market, off roading in the super wagon, seeing the mountains no matter where we were, planting rice with complete strangers, listening to a tribal believer teaching others, too many games of euchre to count, watching the sunrise for hours, calling each other on the plane, having a "traditional experience Korea," falling in love with Azuki frappuccinos, but most of all: making new friends. Friends that have been more of an encouragement to me during the past month than I can say. Friends who call me practically every night to see how my day was and friends who I feel safe enough with to tell them when it sucked.
July 1 - Picture party at Ben's. So after I said goodbye at the airport, I was feeling like I'd never see these people again. Yeah, not so much. Hobo pies, talking about Thailand, spending hours looking at over 3,000 pictures. Definitely worth keeping.
July 3 - Fireworks on Greenlake. As if fireworks aren't enough, hanging out, talking about Thailand, meeting everyone's aunt or uncle or second cousin's niece.
July 4 - "This is the best holiday ever!!!" Parades, Starbucks, Tony taking pictures with every mascot he sees, getting soaked (thanks boys!), more fireworks, my first gross carmel macchiato, fireworks, euchre, fireworks.
July 6 - my last day of life as a customer service robot!
July 7 - going up to camp and seeing Rachel after a month of not seeing each other! Falling off the tube 3 times on a "don't wanna get our hair wet" ride (thanks Steve and T)
July 11 - Crystal visited me up at camp. Not only did she come see me, but she kidnapped me and took me to McDonalds! Getting away from camp for a few hours was exactly what I needed....the coffee was good too!
July 8 to 20 (the weeks I was secretary) - waiting until 10pm almost every night, laying on the bench by the soccer field, watching the stars while talking to him and then running to my car when the battery started beeping.
July 14 - My birthday eve. Dinner at Olive Garden with Becky, Ben, Crystal and a few others. The "after party" with Em, Ben, and Crystal tasted even better!
July 15 - My birthday!!! I finally lost the "stigma." Rach and I spend hours at Wal-Mart picking out hair dye and talking each other out of spending money.
July 21 - Finally liking my hair after it was professionally done, feeling very sexy in the satin lined dress I wore all day, and staying at Ben's cottage until 2am talking while the fire died down.
July 28 - My only weekend at camp all summer! Browsing the Whitehall goodwill and having Em and T randomly show up, then spending the whole rest of the day watching TLC with the girls in Elim.
August 2 & 7 - Counselor hunt! Hiding in the hammock with my best friend sitting on me, laughing the entire time while trying to breath and not think about how hot it was. Knowing the entire time that it would be times like this I'd miss once she moved to Colorado.
August 4 - Coast Guard Festival. Getting there early, playing phone tag but not meeting up with everyone until 9pm, finally getting my elephant ear with chocolate fudge (not apple-cherry-fudge), one trick in euchre, fireworks with music, having Ben save my life by taking me home.
August 10 & 11 - Newberry and Mackinac Island. Climbing some random structure to the roof to watch the stars, throwing pizza at Ben and Tim while they tried to scare the 2nd car of people, convincing Ben to stop at the scenic outlook with the cool little door, playing musical bikes around the island (first tandem with Crystal, then stealing the boys single bikes, then tandem with Ben).
August 13 - Visiting Chelsey in Jackson, and seeing how huge my niece is now! The time I spend with Chels isn't ever very much, but it seems to always be encouraging.
August 14 & 15 - Hess Lake with "the crew." One last hurrah before we scatter, cruising on the pontoon boat, watching Dog in the hugest bed ever, going back out on the pontoon after dark, finding out how hard it is to put your suit on in the middle of the lake, eating breakfast on the floor, mini golf, taking family pics on the fireplace. Basically just spending time with the people who have helped make me who I am right now. The people who've loved me unconditionally for 9+ years. The people who I've cried with, laughed with, screamed at, prayed with, lived with, went on countless road trips with, and who will always be a part of my life no matter where I live.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 21:36:24 GMT

Seeing as how my friends have recently scattered all over the country, I've decided to begin posting again. (Em, you inspired me!) Now, it has been some time, and I fear that it may take me awhile to write anything worth reading. We shall see. In the meantime, sorry if I bore you with meaningless details.

Life in Missouri so far has been:
dry
dusty
real
out of my bubble
lonely
relaxing
humid
full of anticipation
dirty
familiar
wet
hectic
eye opening
interesting

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Sun, 15 Jul 2007 03:38:58 GMT

Seeing how the dial-up at camp is ridiculously slow and also seeing how that will be my home for the next 4 weeks (man...that sounds like a very long time)...here's my email address for the rest of the summer: mail@ao-wa-kiya.org (my name in the subject).

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 02:07:34 GMT

Alright kids, I'm moving up to camp tomorrow and I'll be there for 5 weeks! I kinda feel like I should be more excited than I am though. I'm sure it'll be more exciting once I get there. It's always good to be needed... good to spend your day doing things that make a difference. I can't wait to see Rachel again (it's been over a month!!!) and I'm sure camp will feel more like "home" then the loft. On the flip side, I'm sad to leave all my friends... especially the ones I feel like I'm just getting to know. Sad to leave my family too, even if I don't always act like it. I won't really be able to get online very much, but I'll be able to check my voicemail and make calls the first 2 weeks. You can always come see me too! The first 2 weeks I'll have evenings free. I'll have every Saturday afternoon free too. I LOVE mail...hint...hint. Here's the address:
Melanie Mouw
c/o Camp Ao-Wa-Kiya
8401 W. Thomas Rd.
Shelby, MI 49455

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Wed, 30 May 2007 20:25:50 GMT

Last nights are never the way they should be.
Although packing was very necessary,
it wasn't really what we had in mind for our last night together in our amazing apartment.
Bombsicles and ice cream would have been fun,
but boxes, packing tape, and loading the truck is what we got.
I guess it's appropriate though...that has kinda been my life lately.
There's always something I'd rather be doing...welcome to life.
Hang on Mel....it's just a few more weeks, and the future's looking pretty good.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Sat, 19 May 2007 20:49:36 GMT

I would just like to take a moment to state that Ebay is a wonderful thing.
There is no other place that you can trade
12 old CDs from high school and
3 baby formula coupons for a
$250 straightener.
Plus, I still have $5 left over!
Yup, Ebay is probably my favorite thing right now.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 23:55:59 GMT

I'm in love!!

**Edit: This was posted by Ben. Now, don't get me wrong, I love many things. Thunderstorms, open windows, cute mugs, thrift store shopping, dark finger nail polish, my red ipod. The list is quite long. I do need to clarify, however, that I am not in love with a boy at this point in time. Sorry for all those who were misled by our good friend Benjamin.